Ep. 205: Becoming a “Good Relative” with Author Hilary Giovale

EQ: How can individuals of European descent acknowledge their ancestral histories and take meaningful steps toward truth, healing, and repair in their relationships with Indigenous and Black communities?

In this powerful episode, we sit down with Hilary Giovale, author of Becoming a Good Relative: Calling White Settlers Toward Truth, Healing, and Repair, to explore how individuals of European descent can reckon with their ancestral histories and engage in meaningful truth, healing, and repair with Indigenous and Black communities. Hilary shares her personal journey of uncovering Celtic, Germanic, and Nordic roots, awakening to the harms of settler colonialism, and redefining what it means to be a “good relative” in today’s world. We discuss the significance of settler identity, the concept of “white peril,” the role of rituals and spiritual practices in healing, and her ten guidelines for building respectful, cross-cultural relationships. Through honest reflection and a deep commitment to relational accountability, Hilary offers a vision for how white settlers can move beyond denial toward connection, responsibility, and repair.

Do Your Fudging Homework:

  • Annie: Do Hilary’s homework–dig into your past/lineage/ways you can

  • Hilary: Following this guide, make a personal reparations plan

    • Sign up for a monthly contribution to a Land Tax program (all those I know about are listed on this page)

    • Read An Indigenous People's History of the United States, by Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz

  • Hope: Support Tacoma Reparations

Ep. 53: Be A Visible Ally

EQ: With the start of the new -  school year, how can educators be better allies to LGBTQ+ students and colleagues?

Guest: Caroline Kyle Menzia is an elementary school counselor at Geiger Montessori who helps facilitate Tacoma Public School's LGBTQ PLC (professional learning community). Here's their SWAY site for reference and resources you can use. 

Caroline explains how she became passionate about working as an ally for children, especially LGBTQ students. She shares why it’s essential for schools to ensure that “Everyone is welcome” at school. Caroline makes the case that adults need to be visible allies who are flexible and not afraid to be uncomfortable. 

Some tips she shares:

    • Be open to feedback from parents and community to help you be better

    • Normalize talking about pronouns

    • Put your pronouns in your email signature

    • Use your bulletin boards and bookshelves to create welcoming and safe spaces

Resources to support your work:

Do Your Fudging Homework: